Life Changing Lessons Learned in My First 700 Miles
A wise man once said (and by that I mean someone in our group – probably good looking), “Given enough delicately passing miles, the road tends to generously answer all of ones previously unanswered questions, undoubtedly.” After completing the first 700 grueling miles I’d have to agree with that intelligent, thought provoking and well-worded statement. Here are just a few things I did not know before pedaling 700 miles…
- I did not know there are exactly 176 broken white lines in the middle of the road per every 1 mile.
- While in my largest gear (the one that’s hard to turn over), it takes me exactly 169 bike cranks to complete 1 full mile.
- Before our trip (while sitting in a nice air-conditioned office) I was impressed that the Adventure Cycling maps (which we’re happily using) had the forethought to laminate their maps in case it rained while biking – “Genius!” I thought. Well, 700 miles has shown my naivete… it’s not protection from the occasional gentle rain, but from the daily sweat – very smart guys.
- As a general rule, cows rarely look up when you say “moooo” as you ride by (though we seem to keep testing its plausibility), but for some reason they LOVE squeaky breaks! Not sure what is being said in animal/squeaky brake talk but they seem to like it! We have had cows, horses, 2 dogs and 1 camel (not even kidding about the camel) eagerly come running our way until they realized it was just humans with squeaky brakes. (I always feel bad because they seem to turn away with a look of disappointment)
- If you title a playlist “My Favorite Songs” or maybe “Songs I Love to Listen To” or even “Songs I’ll Never Tire Of” …it really doesn’t matter because I have now proven after 700 miles your playlist will be renamed “Music for Guantanamo Bay.”
Related note: Seven seems to be the amount of times you can sing all the songs in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat before hurtful words start to come out.
- The seat on your bike is not getting smaller …I’ve measured it – on two different occasions.
- Having “easier” gears does not necessarily make it easier, it just means now you’re pedaling 36 times faster to move 12 times slower resulting in it taking 27 times longer to complete that grueling up hill portion. The best I can relate this to is being asked if you want to be Shot – or – Stabbed?
- Rumble strips, evidently very popular in Idaho, are an effective way for removing every single filling in your mouth. I am not a conspiracy theorist per se but on this one I’ll put five bucks on the fact that rumble strips were invented by an out of work struggling dentist …most likely from Idaho.
- For 45 years of my life I did not know the Gold Bond Company had a product I needed …the last 700 miles has proven that they do!! I love you Gold Bond Medicated Powder Company and thank you for being patient with me for 45 years. #callmeMr.orMrs.GoldBondPresidentifyouneedanewsatisfiedspokesperson!
- And lastly, I did not realize that the world is a drastically worse place to live because it is missing a “Shawn & Trisha Lucas Family Cook Book” (©℗ 2014 – All rights reserved. Use not permitted without express written consent). All the meals they have cooked (yes, in large quantities) have been exceptionally tremendous!
Upside: tastes great and something to look forward too each day while riding.
Downside: I’m not losing weight!
(Which one do I pick? Well, with the amount of time I’m spending trying to avoid rumble strips while perched on a seat that may or may not be shrinking, with nothing to listen to now that Joseph and his colorful Coat have been banned… I’ll take the upside of tremendously good food – and my Gold Bond of course!)
I hope this helps. Can’t wait to see what the next 700 miles have in store.
Successful trading everyone, and may the wind always be at your back,
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